Wikipedia:Wiki-Hell
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Abandon hope, all ye who edit here. . .[citation needed]
...is a desolate plane on the ninth-sublevel of the afterWiki where all who dare defile the sacred name of the Wiki are consigned to forever wander, contemplating their Wiki-sins. Among the sadly common sights of Wiki-Hell:
- Spamvertisers who attempted to use Wikipedia as a billboard from which to foist their shoddy products and services on the community, sentenced to an eternity of attempting to sell their wares to those who have no money and do not care, anyway!
- Neologists and conlangers, who invented words (perhaps by horribly mutilating real words into neoplorgismanteaux) - or worse yet, entire languages - and posted them as articles, condemned to an eternity spouting nothing but meaningless self-made words in unknown tongues, these uncromulently disembiggened souls are denied the ability to engage in intelligent communication with others!
- Non-notable high school/college students who posted vanity articles about themselves, their many faces blurred into a single, unremarkable and indistinguishable visage, that none might be identified (even by their own mothers)!
- Band members who posted vanity articles about their garage bands, each desperately cranking up their amps in a hopeless effort to be heard above the roaring din of their counterparts, so that they might be signed by a record label and achieve the notability that would release them from this purgatory!
- Cruftists who sought to document in its own individual article on Wikipedia every conceivable minor character, device, or event mentioned in every non-canon fan-fic message board that had some tertiary relationship with the cruft of their fancy; and their ugly cousins, fan-fic foisters, who were simply not content with the existing minutia of their obsession, and therefore sought to create new details that might have existed in some alternate universe; both now unable to utter any comment not related to that tired, over-commercialized subgenre!
- People with the right answer. Don't they realize there are no "right answers" on Wikipedia, just whatever the local consensus happens to be at the time?
- Sock-puppeteers who tried to manipulate deletion debates and continue editing after having been banned, and are now forced to wear nothing but smelly socks!!!
- Sex position imagineers, so stung by the constant rejection brought on by their own ineptitude that they invent sexual positions that are violent, degrading, or just physically impossible; they are condemned in the afterWiki to be forever displayed on the receiving end of these vile ministrations!
- This one seems weird now, but in the early days of Wikipedia, this was a thing.
- Vandals who attacked the very purpose of Wikipedia with their evil disruptions of the work of good Wikipedians - the fate they suffer is so horrible that it dare not be written!!!
- And worst of all, those who call "Wikipedia" "Wiki"!
Lo, for it is naught but a sad existence!
- To be dumped into an afterWiki among the faceless non-notable masses, the smelly mostly-naked sock-puppeteers, the cacaphony of vanity bands and spouting cruftists and incoherent neologists and conlangers, and the constant slick pitches of forlorn advertisers...
...oh, the pity, the pity...
